I worked as a graphic designer for many years and now work in the media so regularly see my work in print so I should be okay with putting my own creations out there, but I’m not. Fear grips my stomach and I look at all my creations and decide they are not good enough.
When you are working for or with someone else the final version tends to be a merging of a lot of ideas, yours and theirs, but ultimately you’re tailoring towards the clients commercial needs.
Creating something for yourself, maybe also to sell, and the goal posts seem to move. For me, they move so far away I can’t even see them anymore. It’s case of aiming in a certain direction and hoping for the best.
I recently posted about my lack of self confidence on the Facebook page of The Shed with the Chandelier and had some very constructive replies which in a nutshell included being patient, allowing time to creatively play, having a project and thinking of myself as the client.
These thoughts percolated around in my head for a few days before I realised that I’m setting the standard for myself too high. I want to create the ‘perfect’ piece of art and anything else isn’t good enough. When I look at one of my paintings, for example, I see all the things I would have done differently and this lessens it in my eyes.
My realisation today is that there is no perfect piece of art. What I create now is a reflection of where I’m at in my life and on my creative journey. In another year I may be creating different things but that will be because I have grown as a person and an artist. And that’s okay.
To put my art out there now doesn’t scare me at all. If someone doesn’t like my work they can move on, if they do then I hope they enjoy it.
I’m not aiming for goal posts anymore. Just wandering around and enjoying the view and meeting interesting people!
My new way of looking at things has helped me to move forward, so if you are reading this and trying to find your way good luck and you’re not alone.
Playing with bead and gem jewellery: a pair of Lepidolite and Swarovski bead earrings.
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